Welcome to the craziness....

Monday, September 19, 2011

Grammar and Rhinos...

Ok, so I thought I'd tackle this subject early in my blogging career...I say that as if I'm embarking on a career path that will bring home way more than, "hey good job, that was funny".
There is something that drives me crazy and I need to share it with y'all. It is the faux pas known as grammatical errors. Now, I say grammatical errors because in this day and age with computers and all we can almost always spell check a document, email, text, or what have ya. I don't mean spelling something completely wrong.
For instance when I post a status on facebook that uses rhinoceros...because you never know when that kinda word might pop up in your day-to day activities...I totally spell check that bad boy.
The rhinoceros that is.
And his extremely difficult name to spell.
Why do that to us Mr. Rhino?!?
What's wrong with a simple cat? Or dog?

(ok...sorry...back on track now)

Oh no...that my friends can, in most instances be corrected before it goes into the technological land of forever. I mean the good 'ol there vs. their, your vs you're, its vs. it's...get my drift??

I must put my disclaimer in now though... I DO NOT SPELL THINGS CORRECTLY...I USE RUN ON SENTENCES AND DANGLING MODIFIERS (yeah, I had to look that one up too...).

So, this brings me to a recent little rendezvous that perhaps maybe sorta went down in my neighborhood last Saturday night. You see, momma was all kinds of tired and I just wanted to go to bed at a decent hour. However, the neighbors insisted I listen to the Cha-Cha Slide and I Got Friends in Low Places at decibels loud enough I could decipher every word(personally, I was near my wits end and I may or may not have wished my neighbors to "some low place").

So after waiting for it to end for a couple hours I thought I'd send them a cheery little note saying, hey, do you mind, knock it off...I got kids...who are trying to sleep. If you don't shut it down I'm going to send all of them over at 6am when they wake up--you might wanna have Cheerios ready....

I kid.

I seriously sent the sweetest little email you could imagine that kindly asked if we could wrap up a little earlier the next time.

Welllllll, lo and behold in my groggy mommy state of mind I seemed to have been mistaken. It was not our neighbors, it was a house several streets over.


Well, let me tell ya I didn't get the oh so cheery note back. It was more like hey lady, quit your crying...it wasn't us.


So me being the (usually) non-confrontational, people pleaser, do not like anything to be wrong in the world, lets all be friends kinda person, immediately sent a note back begging for forgiveness.
Then I sat around the rest of the weekend and into the next week feeling horrible and wondering if I should go bake them a banana nut loaf as a peace offering. Although, I want them to STILL LIKE ME...so I scratched that idea.

Fast forward a few days later and my mom so kindly points out (because I immediately sent her the email saying...was I rude? was I too harsh? look what I did! eeek!) that I made a MAJOR grammatical error. In my haste to still be friends I typed the following:

Please EXCEPT my apologies.


So now, not only do they think I am a complainer...they think I'm an idiot.

Perhaps the banana nut loaf is not a bad idea.

**P.S. If you read this far I commend you. I feel like this was one big run-on post...full of comma splices, uneccessary shifts in pronouns, misuse of prepositions, and sentence fragments.

**P.S.S. And of course I spelled rhinoceros wrong...thank goodness for spellcheck!

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